I have never had a romantic relationship with anyone. It is a sore point with me. I have had crushes. One notably embarrassing one in high school. The only one I had. That crush had to stop once he went out with one of my good friends. I knew he didn't like me for sure before that in a revealing game of truth or dare but it still didn't really die. So here I am years later, that crush definitely gone from my system...and I still haven't had a date. I haven't had someone hold me, curl up next to me and cradle me in their arms.' It's weird but I don't have a desire for sex. I just want love and those little things that go with it. I pray to God about it, apologizing for my aching, I mean I could seriously end up worse for wear once I delve into having a relationship. I hope I am not somehow being picky...lol Yeah, right. Me picky. I am not a natural beauty. A guy is going to love me for who I am if he's going to love me at all. I have never figured out makeup and it doesn't help that when I use makeup it messes with my skin. I have been beautiful before for Homecoming and Prom. 4 dances for junior and senior year. My sis helped me those times. There is an upshot for me though. I am really good about being friends with a guy. I wasn't so much in high school...but then a lot of those guys were "jerks" (to be polite). I'm not saying like a bunch of my fellow females saying all guys are pigs or something like that. Maybe I am better off relationshipless...I am pretty levelheaded and I see most guys as people. Do I really want that to change if I get into a relationship that turns sour? Will I really hate whoever it is and then guys as a whole? Maybe. That's the answer coming back from deep inside this examination. This is the same answer I get about most any question. Sigh. I need to pray about this. I also maybe need to be a bit more adventurous or talk to a friend. Well, I have kept my vow. Dear God, please watch over my family, my friends, the sick, the afflicted, the grieving, the military, and help for there to be peace on earth. Please help me to have patience and peace of mind. Please forgive me of my sins and thank you for my many blessings. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

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