When I said, I had never been in a romantic relationship, I meant in real life. I had a romantic relationship online. He and I connected through our love of poetry and wrote some beautiful poetry for me. I was able to get through as to how important he was as a person with some poetry of my own. We talked regularly for four years. We never met, we never talked on the phone, just poetry and photos. As our lives changed, our talking became less and less romantic and less frequent. He got a girlfriend and we were just pals again for awhile. Now, he's not even returning my email much less talk to me. It rather hurts. What it all boils down to is a funny thing called love. I loved and still love him. The past tense equals I was in love with him. I was a silly giggly girl among other things. The present is that he is one of my best friends. He'll lose the best part if he doesn't respond to the next email I send but I'll still consider him a friend. He said he loved me too. He said a lot of things that I didn't think I would ever be directed at me. I was in love and I'm not anymore. We mutually just wittled down to exchanging emails with day to day details like friends which is what we did in the beginning. What is crazy is that for some reason I decided to ask myself, what would I do if the guy became single again? The answer...I don't know. Could I just fall back into being in love instead of just loving? Am I totally crazy to say I have experienced my first love? Will I ever get it right in person? I have created a crazy diary entry. I have created many things to think about. Dear God, please be there for my friends, my family, the sick, the afflicted, the grieving, the military, and help for there to be peace on earth. Please help me to have patience and peace of mind. Please forgive me of my sins and thank you for my many blessings. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

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