I am one with my self. I actually read my poetry in public, in front of strangers. I slurred a little. I even shook...which was weird. I don't know why I did that. But back to the reading poetry...it was at open mic night. I wouldn't have done it if another woman hadn't done it since it looked like it was an all music open mic. So bless her for doing it. It spurred me on. So after some really great musicians and a fellow poet, I go up sit on a stool and read 4 poems, 3 of them my own, one of them my internet friend's. I had gotten his permission to do whatever I wanted with his poetry. So I read it in connection to another poem I wrote. I wonder what he writes now. I'm pretty sure it's all for his fiance� which makes perfect sense. And maybe that means the poetry doesn't have the power any more. So what? Do you know what he wrote about with so much power?!? How he was such a piece of crap! He scared himself with some of the poems he wrote and I never even saw those and I was scared enough with what he DID show me. Finally though I GOT THROUGH, thank god. He wasn't and isn't a piece of crap and he finally believed me when I said so in a poem. He finally started writing happy poems...and now he's not self destructive, he's not resting in pieces, and he is getting married to somebody who probably has loved him for a lot longer than I have but just didn't have the means to get through herself. :::smile::: I swear if I had the chance and was invited I'd go to the wedding. Yeah, I love him but I'm not in love with him. Not anymore anyway. I am so happy right now. I have survived to this day. People like my poetry. People like me. I like me. I love me actually. Historic moment. I still want a guy to love me for who I am and hold me though...LOL Of course, I need to love a guy for who he is. But that whole thing is for another day. Dear God, please watch over us all, please help us to have peace, help me to have peace of mind and patience, forgive me of my sins and thank you for all my blessings. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

previous-next