One of my friends inspired me into writing in this the very early morning. Soul searching on my past. Now that's a scary thing to go into. I direct myself negative and my life flashes before my eyes. I direct myself positive and a whole other life flashes before my eyes. I guess that's what you get when you're bipolar, I dunno. I suddenly get embarrassed or ashamed and I want to apologize right then for probably the 100th time that it ever happened, and sometimes this is just to myself. And now I have my junior year in my past. It's so hard to believe since it means my real good friends are not going to be there. It hits me hard inside. I'm losing all my rides. I don't really know what I am going to do. The whole feeling guilty of my freakin' totally scared out of mind fear of driving drives (no pun intended) me crazy! You'd think I would want to learn how to drive so since I am one lazy bum when it comes to walking. Ugh. I gotta look and feel the future now. There, that's better since I have Broadway in my eyes now. Yeah, I am sucker for musicals, since I am addicted to music. I am a soul for escapism. Now if I only knew a way to escape and get my butt on a dance floor. I am outta here. Dear God, please watch over my family, my friends, the sick, the afflicted, the grieving, the military, and help for there to be peace on earth. Please forgive me of my sins and thank you for my many blessings. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

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