I could cry right now. There are heavy things just weighing me down. Bad things have happened in the world and they weigh on my heart. I am remembering a past of violence with a serial killer and 9/11. I guess this has come on because of the school paper having an article about 9/11 and the news last night rehashed the whole serial killer ordeal. There's going to be a movie about it on some TV station too. Ugh. I have no need to watch that. Ok, you know, I really can't cry. My eyes are dry. I don't feel like a person on the outside at all. On the inside I do, I do feel human. I want to be like a snake, get rid of this skin and be all the better for it. I want to get the dust and the mess from this semester in college gone and feel alive and well in Mexico. I am probably expecting too much from this country as a person might idealize the U.S as having gold paved streets and an easily acheivable dream. I wish I had a dream. I would love to be a well paid respected actor. Ok, that's my dream at this point. I want to curl up and sleep. I will settle on going and playing the piano before choir practice. Music can heal. My fingers can do a different kind of walking. Dear God, please help me with my worries and watch and be there for us all. Please help me to have patience and peace of mind. Please forgive me of my sins and thank you for my many blessings. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

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